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Jeff Parke, Pain Machine Get Cuddly In Sounders Video Dating Commercial

The Seattle Sounders video dating commercials have taken on a life of their own since the initial release earlier this week, and one man stood out in the crowd. Sounders defender Jeff Parke's personality was on full-display in his dating video, and his use of an adorable puppy certainly helped matters. While Roger Levesque may have had the funniest ad, Parke may have spawned the funniest offshoot, in the form of the @Pain_Machine Twitter account meant to capture the thoughts of his dog.

Oh, and there was this (click to animate, via LikkitP).


That adorable puppy can be found criticizing officials and making fun of Jeff "Sparkles" Parke at @Pain_Machine. Here's a small smattering of what to expect.

Sparkles is cracking up the locker room with my trick, where I stand on my hind legs and he pretends I'm Fucito.

During drills Sparkles pulled up, stared into the distance, and started weeping. That's when I knew he was looking at Oprah's old studio.

Sparkles is still out in the parking lot, blasting Katy Perry and practicing slide tackles on the blacktop.

I don't know who this account belongs to, but it is wonderful and worth a follow. You can find more on the commercials over at Sounder at Heart, as well.