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NFL Picks, Week 8: Predicting The Weekend's Matchups

Week 8 is upon us, place your bets!

SEATTLE, WA - OCTOBER 2: Defensive lineman Alan Branch #99 gets fired up during play against the Atlanta Falcons at CenturyLink Field on October 2, 2011 in Seattle, Washington. The Falcons won the game 30-28. (Photo by Stephen Brashear /Getty Images)
SEATTLE, WA - OCTOBER 2: Defensive lineman Alan Branch #99 gets fired up during play against the Atlanta Falcons at CenturyLink Field on October 2, 2011 in Seattle, Washington. The Falcons won the game 30-28. (Photo by Stephen Brashear /Getty Images)
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Look, I don't even want to talk about last week. I wasn't myself. I swear that never happens. It was the stress. For whatever reason, I really crapped the bed with my picks but life goes on and I'm here to make amends. If you care, and I'm sure you do, I went 6-7 last week (barf) but on the season I'm 64-39 straight up. My goal for the season is to hover around 65% but right now I've dipped to 62%. 

With that in mind, I've consulted the stars and this is what they've told me will happen. Here are my picks, with the current odds, as they come courtesy of Odds Shark. It's your choice if you want to ridicule them or put your car pink-slip down on them.

Arizona Cardinals @ Baltimore Ravens (-13): Well, the point spread is there for a reason but those damn Ravens really let me down last weekend when they lost to the Jaguars on Monday Night Football. How embarrassing for them. They're going to come and play mad. Ray Lewis might do a pre-game dance to get everyone pumped up. If that happens, you can bet on a Ravens victory. Pick: Baltimore

Minnesota Vikings @ Carolina Panthers (-4): Pick #12 vs Pick #1. I'm liking the Panthers lately. Cam Newton has energized this team and he seems to be the real deal. He'll have to work around Minnesota's Jared Allen this week (the NFL sack leader), but I don't know if Allen or the angry ghost of his mullet will be enough to stop the Panthers. Pick: I'm going with Carolina.

Jacksonville Jaguars @ Houston Texans (-9.5): I just don't know what to believe anymore. The Jaguars/Ravens game from Monday was about as much of an open and shut case as you can ask for and the damn Jaguars came away with a win. Can they do it again versus the Texans? Who the hell knows! I don't think lightning will strike twice though, hangover game for the Jags. Pick: Texans

Miami Dolphins @ New York Giants (-10): The Dolphins aren't very good this year. I'm not sure if you've read that somewhere. Well, I'm telling you now. The Giants, on the other hand, lost to the Seahawks. Soooooo, there goes your easy choice. That being said, I'm still picking the home team in this one. Pick: Giants

New Orleans Saints @ St. Louis Rams (+13): The poor Rams. They'll likely be without Sam Bradford again and that really doesn't bode well against the high-octane Saints. This one I'm feeling good about picking. Pick: Saints

Indianapolis Colts @ Tennessee Titans (-9): Well, Matt Hasselbeck has sure returned to earth, hasn't he? People are up in arms about how bad Charlie Whitehurst played last weekend but statistically speaking the old wily vet played just about as bad as his Titans team fell hard to the Texans. On the other hand, they're playing the Colts, who without their defensive stalwart Peyton Manning, managed to give up 62 points to the Saints. ... wait what's that? Peyton didn't play defense? Huh. What the hell is their problem? Pick: Titans

Washington Redskins @ Buffalo Bills (-4): God, I'm not sure if I could think up a more godawful boring matchup, unless it somehow also involved Jacksonville and maybe Cleveland. The one redeeming factor about this game might be Fred Jackson. Pick: Bills

Detroit Lions @ Denver Broncos (+3) Well, so far I've picked all the favorites. Glad you consulted me huh? Well, I'm not straying from that, even if God loves the Broncos. Pick: Lions

New England Patriots @ Pittsburgh Steelers (+1.5): Ok, I've said before that I'd never pick against the Patriots but I'm going to go out on a limb for this one. The terrible towel is going to be active in this one. It's always tough to win in Pittsburgh and this is going to be one hell of a game. I'm going with the underdogs here. Pick: Pittsburgh

Cleveland Browns @ San Francisco 49ers (-9.5): Well, I'm afraid the Browns might be overmatched in this once. The Browns looked pretty awful in their win last week against the Seahawks, which doesn't say a lot about the Browns but it really doesn't say a lot about the Seahawks. The 49ers, on the other hand, are coming off a bye so they could get bitten with the complacency bug. We'll see, but I have to go with the Niners in this one. Pick: San Fran

Cincinnati Bengals @ Seattle Seahawks (+2.5). Oh, Seahawks all the way. The CLink is nothing to be trifled with. Pick: Seattle.

Dallas Cowboys @ Philadelphia Eagles (-3): The Eagles are favored in this one but I think the Cowboys are going to give them some trouble. Watch for the Dez Bryant/Miles Austin combo to take on the Eagles excellent secondary. This game is #2 on the top of my list to watch this weekend, only behind NE/PIT. Oh, and the Seahawks too. Pick: Cowboys

San Diego Chargers @ Kansas City Chiefs (-3.5): Well, well, well. The Chiefs have really bounced back and the Chargers are their typical, unreliable and unpredictable selves. I'm pretty surprised the Chiefs are favored here, and because of that surprise I'm going with the Chargers. Don't fall apart San Diego! Pick: Chargers. 

For more mild stupidity and some Seahawks/NFL coverage, go check out Field Gulls.