Week 4 Picks: Anne Hathaway, Tony Romo and Sweet, Delicious Dolphin Meat

Uh, woah, that was, um, an interesting week 3, which resulted in an unfortunate 6-10 record. I regret a few things, and I owe some people an apology. First off, Jacksonville Jaguars, apparently you can, after all, hang with the Colts. I swear that's not a backhanded compliment. Tennessee, I likened you to a sinking ship about to be set on fire. That was wrong of me. Giants, I assumed your first road trip would be a more rude awakening then the first (and only) time I watched Old Yeller. I was wrong, and I'm sorry. As for the Saints, Browns, Rams and Dolphins, screw you guys, you're better than that. Well maybe not you, Saints.

Week 4 picks, let's form Voltron. Activate interlocks! Dyna-therms connected. Infra-cells up; mega-thrusters are go!

Browns @ Ravens - Boy, this is a tough one, uhm, I could see it going either way, soooooo...PICK: Ravens

Seahawks @ Rams - After a quiet week in Seattle, I think this team is ready to discretely put away the Rams and stay out of the national headlines for another week. PICK: Seahawks

Panthers @ Falcons - Falcons are rolling. Michael Turner actually showed signs of life last week, making them even more dangerous. I see them dumping the Panthers unceremoniously. PICK: Falcons

Patriots @ Bills - Patriots are going to be in full blown eff-you mode after the Ravens game. Bill Belichick finds buffalo delicious, makes jerky out of Ryan Fitzpatrick and "company". PICK: Patriots

Vikings @ Lions - Well well well, doormats no more! (I wrote that in a British accent). The Vikings landed a surprising haymaker against the 49ers. That win will do more for Minny then the loss will hurt San Francisco. We will see the carryover in this game, as I expect the Lions to be a bit deflated by last weeks loss and Stafford's injury. PICK: Vikings

Chargers @ Chiefs - Chiefs win this game, provided Jamaal Charles is not STILL running. KC's home crown can be CLink-ish, and if Ryan Matthews is indeed out, Tamba Hali can pin his ears back expecting San Diego to throw the ball. I foresee a close game, but with momentum and home field advantage, KC looks like the pick. PICK: Chiefs

49ers @ Jets - These two teams are both coming off disappointing losses, but unlike New York, San Francisco doesn't look like a bowl of hot mess. Turns out fat Rex Ryan is a much better coach. PICK: 49ers

Titans @ Texans - Picking Houston is a stone cold lock until they show a weakness. PICK: Texans

Raiders @ Broncos - Broncos need this one, and pretty badly. Opening the first quarter of the season 1-3 after taking the Peyton plunge would be devastating. Raiders have Uncle Mo in their back pocket coming off the Pittsburgh upset, but took a physical beating in the game. Look for Denver to fight like their back is up against the wall. PICK: Broncos /pushes down an old AFC West rivalry vurp

Dolphins @ Cardinals - Arizona comes home and feasts on some dolphin, which is sooooo not politically correct. PICK: Cardinals

Bengals @ Jaguars - Jags got by Indianapolis on the road last week, thanks to Cecil "Bermuda" Shorts. This week the magic runs out. Cincy's well balanced attack will prevail. Prediction: Cincy 28, Jax MJDs 17. PICK: Bengals

Saints @ Packers - New Orleans is a mess. They seem to be running third stringers out there in so many positions, including linebacker and head coach. They are the surest bet to fall to 0-4, going on the road to Green Bay this week. And I think the Packers may be out for a little revenge. Here's a tip Green Bay: 1) try to shore up that pass protection just a smidge, and 2) tell Aaron Rodgers to put away the little pistol he brought out after his first play from scrimmage in Seattle. Quarterbacks playing behind an offensive line that porous shouldn't stick their fingers in the lion's cage. PICK: Packers

Redskins @ Buccaneers - While we all fell immediately into love with RG3, it's hard to overlook losses to St. Louis and Cincinnati, the latter at home. In retrospect, the win against New Orleans isn't as impressive now either, since we learned the truth about the Saints. The Bucs are young and should learn from losses at New York and Dallas. PICK: Bucs

Giants @ Eagles - Philly's pass defense looks solid on paper, but it's feasted on Brandon Weeden's debut, Joe Flacco and Kevin Kolb. Eli Manning represents their first elite test, and I don't think they have the intestinal fortitude to stop him. The emergence of Ramses Barden presents a new matchup issue, and once again New York's backfield is deep. PICK: Giants

Bears @ Cowboys - I consistently find Dallas to be the toughest team to pick. They are capable of extreme performances, in either direction. But I think Tony Romo has steathily become more consistent in the last two seasons, a lot like Anne Hathaway. Sure, she was cute in thePrincess Diaries, but she was also mildly intolerable. Now, years later, she's pretty damn bankable. And while the Bears did look good hosing down the Rams last week, they will struggle not to turn it over against Dallas' playmakers on defense. PICK: Cowboys