Written in the key of a 19-year-old:
sup LOOKOUTS,
the name is taijuan walker, dont forget it, LMFAO. nah, for real tho you prolly wont after tonight. kid be throwin FLAMES this season dont u know bout it? only a teenager and hes ballin son. you prolly ball ‘in control’ but t-flame balls out of it….
4 wins, 2 losses (more like LOLsses cause they was lucky!!!), 3.04 era, 55 strikeouts and only 20 bb’s in 53.1 innings BOIIII!!!!! what you even know about dat?
oh yeah, you know a lil bit bout it cause you saw this kid in yo home park two weeks ago and he made 9 of y’all go back to da dugout on a K, ROFL!!!
yeah, maybe you got lucky and scored 4 runs but t-flame will NOT let dat happen again!!!! y’all are foolin wit your hitters, aint none of em gonna made da big leagues but skywalker bout to be in the bigs next year, not even able to buy a drink!
fyi – HE’S CLOWNIN!
see you tonight at 5:05 pacific STANDARD time but nuthin standard bout taijuan, china. he’s gonna strike out a billion batters tonight! ROFLMAOKYMASGNTY!!!!
(rollin on da floor laughin my ass off, kissin yo mama and sayin good night to you)
(end key of 19-year-old)