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Well, Week 5 is in the books, and I managed to squeak out a 10-4 record, bringing my season total to 37-24, meaning several thousands, perhaps millions, of people are doing worse/better than I am.
And you say you don't read this for the cutting-edge, turn-the-world-on-its-head analysis.
Week 6 picks, coming up!
Pittsburgh @ Tennessee - The return of Rashard Mendenhall gives Pittsburgh a big boost, as they were struggling mightily in the run game. That added weapon should held Big Ben run a more efficient offense, and enable this team to hang on to leads easier. They have led in the second half of both games they lost this year. Tennessee continues it's brutal schedule, and unless they learn to run/stop the run, they are going down down down....PICK: STEELERS
New England @ Seattle - Unmovable Mebane, meet unstoppable Brady. In the Dallas game, it was easy to see how the Seahawks had a matchup advantage, where everything they did well matched up with what Dallas did poorly, and everything the Hawks do, uh, less well, didn't matter.
In THIS game, the Patriots bring a stellar offense, both on the ground and in the air, and face a defense so good I've invented the word staungy to describe it. So something has to give. Conversely, The New England defense stops the run very well, but has been victimized by the passing game. Well, that doesn't exactly play into Seattle's hands. There are a couple huge keys to this game. First of all, the Twelfth Man must bring it, and rattle a quarterback cooler than a polar bear's toe nails (Oh hell..). Second, and most important, Russell Wilson has to keep this game close. Ultimately, I think this will be a tough task for The Good Guys. I'll take New England, and be more than happy to mark it a loss. PICK: PATRIOTS
Oakland @ Atlanta: Two road games, and Oakland has been outscored 72-19. Atlanta in the meantime is rolling. PICK: FALCONS
Cincinnati @ Cleveland: The Browns are 0-5, but are they that bad? Sure, they're bad, but are they oh-pher, goose egg, tits-up, dead on arrival bad? I think not quite, maybe. Trent Richardson is a big boy running back, and he went off against the Bengals in week 2. The Bengals won that game by a touchdown. I think if Cleveland has a chance late, the Dawg Pound helps them bring it home. PICK: NO MORE WINLESS TEAMS - BROWNS
St. Louis @ Miami: The Lou might be for real. They got by Seattle and Arizona at home the last two weeks, and their defense has improved every week. However, Miami annihilates the run, and without Danny Amendola, Sam Bradford will have to find new targets. That will take time, as Amendola was a huge part of the St. Louis offense. The Rams are no longer a punching bag, but Miami at home is a bad matchup for them. PICK: DOLPHINS
Indianapolis @ NY Jets: If Indy can find some run game this week, they should handle the Jets easily. The Colts have leaned heavily on Andrew Luck's arm, and now face a team in NY that only does one thing well, and that's defend the pass. Throw in the facts that this is only Indy's second road game, and they are ripe for a let down coming off a very emotional win, I foresee doom and gloom, which is extra doomy when it comes at the hands of the Jets. PICK: JETS
Detroit @ Philadelphia: Philadelphia gets the cure for the turnover blues: a Detroit team with three takeaways on the season. Three. PICK: IGGLES
Kansas City @ Tampa Bay: Wet Noodle Game of the Week. Eenie, meenie, miney, Chiefs. PICK: BUCS
Dallas @ Baltimore: Uh oh Cowboys. This probably qualifies as a natural disaster in Texas. PICK: RAVENS
Buffalo @ Arizona: Does Arizona have the fortitude to bounce back from getting handled by the Rams? Buffalo at home is a good start, but one of these days Mario Williams is going to come unglued on an opposing quarterback right? As it is, Buffalo has allowed 97 points in the last two weeks, which might take Seattle opponents half a season. PICK: CARDS
Giants @ San Francisco: Outstanding football game here. I think San Francisco's home field advantage puts them over the top, but you never know what Eli Manning has in his back pocket, and with Ahmad Bradshaw coming off a hugenormous game, the 49ers should expect the Giants best punch. Hopefully, they won't have recovered by Thursday. PICK: 49ERS
Minnesota @ Washington: These are kinda very similar teams. The Redskins played Atlanta tough last week, and should be able to get a better outcome against a surprise Minnesota team that has been surprisingly balanced. Home field a huge factor here. PICK: REDSKINS
Green Bay @ Houston: Houston rules still in effect - I'm sticking with them until they lose. PICK: TEXANS
Denver @ San Diego: You may want to watch this game in standard definition. Between Manning and Rivers, there are going to be a lot of "who farted?" faces. PICK: BRONCOS