In 1987, there was just one thing in life I wanted more than any other.
A Boz cut.
You know the one - the blond flat top with the mullet in the back, lines shaved on either side, preferably dyed blue and green. All of the cool kids had one.
Unfortunately, I was not a cool kid. I was just a chubby, unathletic 10-year-old whose parents told him in no uncertain term that there was no way they ever were going to have a child look that ridiculous.
I always think about this whenever erstwhile Seahawks linebacker/draft bust Brian Bosworth makes his way back into the public consciousness because of some kind of random self promotion, which he happened to do today with an appearance on the Dan Patrick Show. (And, by the way, the hair is relevant. We'll get back to that in a second.)
You can listen to all of the interview here, and like just about every sports interview involving Bosworth, his infamous attempted tackle of the Raiders' Bo Jackson on Monday Night Football had to come up:
"I don't think it's quite as huge as the media likes to make it out to be. They like to make it seem like it's an explosion of gargantuan proportions. But it really isn't. ... Going back, would I like to make the play and put my head on the other side? Sure. Is Bo Jackson one of the greatest backs to ever play the game? Sure.
"Unfortunately we both ended up with the same thing - too short a career and not a chance to come back and play against each other and create a nice little give and take with each other as our careers had gone forward. But it didn't. We both got injured."
Uh, Boz - maybe it wasn't an explosion of gargantuan proportions ... but the video don't lie.
Looks even worse in super slow mo.
Yeah -- put your helmet on the other side and you just might have ended up decapitated.
You got used. Own it. And the rest of us will go back to wondering why we ever bought into your sham of an image.
Back to the hair, Bosworth is making the rounds because he's in Troy Polamalu's Hair Tournament. No, you can't make this stuff up.